Questions and Answers

In the last week I have been called to make a few very significant decisions about my life, which in itself lead me to ask a few very significant answers of God, which led me down a really dark path , as the questions were overwhelming, and the answers scarce. I have however found a few clever men, who captured in words what has been mauling in my heart for the last week:

With this prayer in my heart I ventured on:
"My God, in you only do I find the answers to the questions that perplex and confuse me. Yet I know that in your good time, the answer will be made to me. Give me grace, dear God, to live with my questions until you are pleased to make my way clear"

Rueben P. Job writes on this:
""Zechariah was a deeply religious man, a man full of years and full of experience. He was a leader in the religious life of his community and he was filled with a question that would not go away. Even an angelic visit did not calm his fears or answer his questions. "how can I know that God's promise is true for me?"
It is easy for us to make light of Zachariah's struggle, thinking it would be different for us. If an angel visited us, we could believe. If we had received such a direct promise from God, we could trust and rejoice. But the truth is, we have received a much greater and more direct promise. We have the life, crucifixion and resurrection of Jesus to confirm the promise of God's love and provision. We have the presence and power of the Holy Spirit to assure us the companionship of God and the power of God in everyday life. We have two thousand years of experience to remind us and to assure us that God can be trusted, and that God will provide. But the questions are not easily put to rest. What if I am wrong and give my life to the focus of my wishful thinking and not to the living God? What if I am listening to my own desire and not the voice of God, as I seek direction for my life? What if God leads me astray and into a life that is too much for me?
Zechariah is not the only one who hears the nagging questions. We hear them too. How will I know Go d is guiding me? How will I know God will provide for me? How will I know God will forgive me? How will I know God loves me as an individual?
How will I know? How will I know. God?
These are the nagging questions that lurk close in many of our lives, and to deny them is to give them power they do not have. To face the question honestly and directly is to see them for what they are - a response to fear to our lack of faith.
So what shall we do? Continue our life as Zechariah did - praying, serving, listening. And as we continue our disciplined listening for the voice of God, we will be called to remember that God does care for us, and provide for us, in wonderful ways, even when we are unaware of that provision.
After living with the question, the apostle Paul said: " I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, ..., nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus, our Lord (Rom8:38-39)
The assurance that we are enfolded in the loving arms of God can still the nagging questions, and grant us the grace, peace, and serenity to live all of life fully and faithfully every day. Grant us this blessed assurance today and always. ""

Brennan Manning - Reflections for Ragamuffins writes:
Because the question no longer is: Can I do it? Am I able? Can I overcome my moodiness, my laziness, my sensuality, my grudges and resentments?
The only question is: IS JESUS CHRIST ABLE? Can my Savior the Lord of my life, revive my drooping spirit and transform me at Christmas, as He transformed the world through His birth in Bethlehem?"

and lastly:
Richard Rohr writes in Everything Belongs:
"" Religious energy is in the dark questions, seldom in the answers. Answers are the way out. Answers are not what we are here for. When we look for answers, we're looking to change the pattern. When we look at the questions, we look for the opening to transformation""

So I am left without answers - to make life easy. I am however challenged to embrace the questions, to live through them, and trust that I will find - more than the answers, but the :iving God within them.